


Kids

by FlyUsOutOfHere



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst?, Hurt/Comfort, Maybe - Freeform, Mentioned Suicide Attempt, Not Beta Read, Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit Friendship, Wilbur Soot and Technoblade and TommyInnit are Siblings, currently hyperfixating on mcyt, legit just two teenagers realizing that they have each other and thats all, not graphic though, probably mental health issues, they are best friends, we die like tommy almost did
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-17 08:40:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28597086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlyUsOutOfHere/pseuds/FlyUsOutOfHere
Summary: Tommy and Tubbo finally talk to each other, for the first time since Tommy's exile.
Relationships: Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, platonic - Relationship, shippers dni - Relationship
Comments: 3
Kudos: 138





	Kids

**Author's Note:**

> tw mentioned suicide attempt  
> tw some mental health issues? like just some unhealthy thoughts thrown in there, nothing graphic though  
> let me know if i need to add any other warnings!
> 
> based off of the january 5th stream, I havent watched the streams from the 6th yet so this is before the war

They had been putting it off for far too long. It used to be easy for them; they could talk about nothing and everything for hours at a time, never losing interest in each other’s words. But now, it was different. It was like there was a wall between them, a wall preventing them from truly connecting. They’d talked, sure. They had had quick conversations here and there, mostly about battle strategies and the lack of available supplies. But they hadn’t had a real conversation in what felt like ages. If Tubbo was being honest with himself, he hadn’t truly talked to his best friend since the day before he exiled Tommy.

But now, they both knew they needed to talk, about everything pushing them apart. Tommy just wanted to get it out of the way. He was on Tubbo’s side now; hell, he had betrayed his brother for him! What else was there to be said? Except Tubbo doesn’t know about Dream yet, Tommy thought to himself. He doesn’t know what Dream did to me.

Of course, Tubbo wasn’t completely clueless about what had went on during Tommy’s exile. He knew that Dream and Tommy had a...complicated relationship. But even Tubbo didn’t know the extent of it all. After he had found the messily made tower in blown-up Logstedshire, he thought his best friend was dead. Once he found out that Tommy was, in fact, alive, he pushed aside all of the implications that came with the incredibly tall tower and moved on with life. Obviously, what Tubbo thought had happened hadn’t happened, and that was all that mattered to him.

Now, there’s a moment of peace in the constant movement as the citizens of Lmanburg prepare for war. They had filled dozens of chests with everything they could need; weapons, extra amour, an impressive amount of potions. They had tamed countless dogs, rounding them up in a pit until it was time to strike. They had done practically everything they could to prepare. 

Even then, Tubbo was scared. Tommy was terrified. He didn’t want to have to fight Technoblade, Philza, his family. Tommy was sickened to say that in this moment, he was happy Wilbur was dead; he can’t betray his whole family if one of his brothers is a clueless ghost, too busy hanging out with sheep to worry about what’s going on in Lmanburg. Sometimes, Tommy envied Wilbur (or Ghostbur, as he liked to be called). It must be nice, being a ghost, not having a single care in the world. Of course, that train of thought almost always leads to less pleasant thoughts, and Tommy didn’t have time for that sort of thinking right now. 

The wooden bench underneath him is cold and uncomfortable, but painfully familiar. Tommy’s waiting. He’s waiting for his best friend to arrive, and they’re going to talk, and communicate, and it will be a healthy, good conversation. Right? Tommy hoped so. He couldn’t stand to lose Tubbo again. His jukebox was placed near Tommy, and Tommy absentmindedly reached into his bag, about to pull out Chirp, or maybe Pigstep, before remembering. He had no discs. He’d lost them all, in one way or another. Dream had them now; Dream had stolen or destroyed every disc that were once Tommy’s. It was quiet, and Tommy was nervous.

Tubbo didn’t think he had taken a full breath all day. He was on edge, and nervous, and terrified, and frankly, if he passed out from his heart beating too fast, he wouldn’t even be slightly surprised. It was time to go see Tommy, Tubbo reminded himself, as he quickly ended a conversation with Fundy. He was late, maybe, he wasn’t completely sure. Still, though, he rushed to the bench, ignoring the questioning gazes of his citizens. When he saw Tommy, he let out a quick sigh of relief. He’d almost thought that Tommy would ditch him, leave without a word. 

“Hey, Tubbo,” Tommy said, after Tubbo had sat down next to him. It was still quiet, the voices of everyone else far away. 

“Hey, Tommy,” Tubbo said back, stringing his hands together, his eyebrows pulled into a worried crease. 

“So, talk! Right? That’s why we’re here. To talk...talk. Yep.” Tommy said, nervously laughing between words. Tubbo just glanced towards his friend, concern showing in his eyes. “Funny, I’d never thought I wouldn’t want to talk to you.”

“Tommy…” Tubbo said quietly, not knowing what else to say.

“Shit, sorry, that came out wrong, it’s just we haven’t talked in so long and it’s hard to talk, for me, right now it’s hard, because I try to think of things to say but then I just get really, really confused and I don’t like being confused.” Tommy said in a rush, all of his words coming out in one breath. Tubbo let out a small chuckle but he was still a little concerned. This wasn’t like Tommy.

“So.” Tubbo said, after the two of them fell silent once again. “I guess we should...I’m sorry for exiling you.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you, when you told me not to burn the house.” Tommy said back, both of the boys just staring down into their laps. “I’m sorry I was so fucking stupid, I was so stupid, Tubbo! I shouldn’t have done it...I don’t know why I did.”

“Yeah, you shouldn’t have done it,” Tubbo said, his tone slightly bitter. If Tommy had for once just listened to him, they wouldn’t even be in this situation.

“You didn’t visit me,” Tommy said, now turning to face his friend. They made quick eye contact; brown eyes meeting blue, except Tubbo noticed that blue was now more gray than anything else. “I was alone, Tubbo! I was alone, with nobody but Dream. I hate Dream, y’know. He was my friend, though. My only friend, maybe, I don’t know, but you never visited me! Not once! I built a path, I made signs, I kept the compass, I waited for you, Tubbo! I waited for you every day and you never came.” Tommy said, his voice getting louder and louder as he spoke. Tommy would hate to admit it, but there were tears in his eyes and he knew that if he kept talking he’d be sobbing within seconds. He took a deep breath, struggling to compose himself.

“I know, I...I’m sorry, Tommy. I almost visited. You even saw me once!” Tubbo said, trying to defend himself before realizing that it was pointless. He hadn’t visited, not really. Tommy just looked at him, his eyes empty. “I came to see you, came to Logstedshire. It was blown up, though. It was blown up and there was a tower and I thought you were dead, Tommy!” Tubbo said, his voice also slightly raising. He sniffled, halfheartedly wiping away a few stray tears.

“I wanted to die, Tubbo,” Tommy said, his voice quiet and void of any emotion. “I was going to. I built that tower with no way to get down and I was going to jump. I did, but I landed in the water. I don’t remember if I meant to do that or not.”

“Oh.” Tubbo said, falling back to rest against the back of the bench. 

“I...Tubbo, I was so alone, Tubbo. I hate Dream, you don’t know what he did to me. I went to Technoblade’s house, stole his stuff for a while. He found me, and one thing led to another, and here we are.” Tommy said, a small smile forming on his face when he talked about stealing from his brother, before it was quickly wiped off when he remembered just yesterday, when Techno and Dream stood side by side, vowing to take them down. He didn’t blame Techno; Tommy betrayed him first. It still hurt like a bitch, though.

“I was lonely, too.” Tubbo said, absentmindedly scooting closer to his best friend. “Fundy was mad at me, and Ranboo, and Quackity. I regretted it right after I did it, y’know. Lmanburg’s not the same without you.”

“Nothing’s the same without you,” Tommy said, his voice somewhat sad. God, Tommy wished he could just go back in time. They were kids! They were kids, but they were leading a nation into war. They were kids, and they had both accepted long ago that no matter what, neither of them would ever get to be kids. 

They had each other, maybe. That could change any moment, though.

“We’re gonna die tomorrow, aren’t we, Tubbo?” Tommy asked, laughing through his words. “We’re gonna fucking die!” Tommy shouted, tears streaming down his face. He didn’t care who heard. 

Tubbo stared at his best friend, before standing up and pulling Tommy up with him. Tubbo let out a shout, no words, just sound. Tommy followed along, both of them just shouting up at the sky. When Tubbo’s voice grew hoarse, and his nose was stuffy from all the tears, he stopped and pulled Tommy into a hug. 

“Yeah, I think so,” Tubbo said into his best friend’s shoulder, laughter and tears bubbling out from both of them. “We’re gonna die.”


End file.
